little sparrow, please stop flying into glass windows, it upsets me.

Be brave, be specific, be considerate and be proud (but never show it). It’s all metaphors and analysis and I like it that way but to find someone else who advocates this, who agrees that optimism and communication are fundamental in a relationship, is surprisingly rare. We’re human and subsequently, it’s difficult not to be an existentialist and anyone aware of our condition cannot help but be a little bit manic depressive. It’s a fact and there is comfort in it. But there are so many people that have too high opinion of him or herself which makes conversation difficult.

You have to try though, to talk, to at least try and understand because there is a chance that you’ll save someone else from bleak complacency (even if you yourself wish you were dead every day of your life) and people hurt us, and so we hurt them back and whomever tries to amend it is at threat of seeming in the wrong. No one said it wasn’t fucked up but it’s kind of important, because one day someone might appreciate you, or if you’re lucky, someone already does. Just... in the event of an infidelity, try not to kill yourself and realise their “nobility” and “dignity” is embellished in falseness. This isn’t the place for vindication and it’s time to grow up.

Talking Battleship in Love and War

Battleship armed.
It’s like...your capacity to love is so great but you scorn yourself and everyone is sardonic (in your head) we all fail in relationships because we care too much about ourselves. Defending egos, attacking egos, it’s all sarcasm and cheap stabs that leave the proud wounded but I love (fighting) you and we all know it’s because we chose the wrong elements to take from our childhood into our adulthood. Hide and seek, talking battleship - The childish games that seemed to prepare us for life today accompanied by underlying issues of abandonment, negligence, guilt, loneliness, inadequacies, jealousies, a familiarity with a dismissal of your insecurities, which is really when they flourish and these issues are all so destructive... and curious, pushing boundaries, pushing people away before they can push you away which really isn’t such a bad strategy if your judgement isn’t clouded by masochistic fantasies, which it is and so it is a bad strategy... and strategies are for wars anyway, not love. Bottom line, you’re too fucked up to be in a relationship. Significant others trying to hit empty coordinates are liars and they don’t care how you feel because they’re blinded by their own superior pain.
Battleship sunk.

I hate dismissive people like you

Sex, drugs, music,
divine raptures.
Some man’s daughter
in ecstasy, on ecstasy.
You’re dreaming I said.
Backwards Forwards
sick and shivering
from a night
with a stranger.
Good sex
in the worst accommodation.
Turns out we were both awake,
wide awake.
This is it,
sacrament to the atheist.
I am one of them now
and I watch them
(as I always have)
Spectral creatures
in a world... of warcraft
akin to the mythical reputation
of the promiscuous virgin,
in their production run
they were popular
but they are neither timeless
nor malleable
and are nothing
to anyone
ever again.
The penitent
walks within flames
to purge himself
of lustful thoughts
and feelings
but he is a fool
because god is dead.
An aquarium of fish
each named after a drug
it won’t hurt
the last time I felt this still
was when they told me
you’re manic depressive
I was completely okay with it
(at the time)

Interesting; ancient depictions of angels look like astronauts

gods, angels, religious or important figures in different cultures. I've always thought their halos or headresses looked like astronaut helmets, and their silhouettes make them look like how conventional aliens are depicted.

utopian sex dreams with people you don't know

I love it, I really do
like falling and being naked
and being with you
if I could breathe underwater
(like I do in my sleep)
I would live there
for months at a time
and surface
just to lay on the sand
and roll around
always naked
and smiling
and then I would run
and find you
In a forest
by a river
being quiet
like you always are
and I would call out to you
and tell you “I love you”
and you would love me back
silently
until everything is dark
where we touch
and dream vividly
with chlorophyll eyes
and crystal hearts.

silly rabbit, do you want to die?

Wow. This. It's like being naked in the dark or drunk on December. It might matter, but we keep cirling the sun. More diversions from our natural state. I'm always so severely upset and in contemplation of things past, I realise that life is progressively getting worse, like my confidence. I want to be reminded every five seconds that someone actually likes me and that I’m going somewhere pleasent in life but it's stupid, because no one cares, there is no real cure for existential angst, you just... suffer from the deprivation of core human needs, like a nervous actress or a psychotic pilot who never feels respected or loved.